A series of unrelated stories
by o0ElLiOto0oRuTh0o
Summary: ...even if related you'll be informed...Warnings shall be written on top of each story!
1. Thoughts Sirius x Remus

Author: Elliot

Elliot:-looks around before letting out a sigh of relief-Thank god he isn't here. Anyways folks can't stay for long. Have to visit Sasuke in the hospital (Avenger has one mean punch). Anyway this is my first time writing something remotely sad. So be nice and review lots.

Warning: Slash!

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER.

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><p>You can't remember how long it's been since you arrived here. Has it been three years? Five years? Or maybe even six? You aren't sure. You lost count after one year and sixty days since you started in that horrible, vile place.<p>

Now you truly realize, you can finally comprehend how awful this place really is. That the stories you heard from people who have been here in Azkaban, the bad and nasty stories, weren't at all exaggerated. Now you can actually understand the pale faced terror of people who have been here, having to experience it.

It takes a couple of moments for you to realize that the dementors guarding your cell left to guard other cells, allowing you a moment of clarity. Though it doesn't help much, because now that you can understand the shouts of pureblood supremacy and the Dark Lord coming to save them from your dear cousin and other filthy Death Eaters from neighboring cells.

You can't help the deep feeling of disgust and contempt that flows through your veins. You have always hated your family for their behavior, their belief s and everything they stand for. And you can't help but think bitterly that no one will think that you are any different from any members of your family due to the betrayal and deceit of the disgusting rat. No one, not even his Moony.

Thinking about Remus hurt. It hurt a lot. It's bad enough that you that you have to repeatedly remember watching the dead faces of his best mate and his wife. To see the dead faces of Lily and James Potter and the terrified cries that came from Harry, who was almost buried under a pile of rubbles. To have every happy thoughts and every happy feeling sucked out of you.

But it's always worse when you remember Remus. Remus, who now also thinks that you are no different from the rest of your family. Probably cursing himself right now for ever trusting you. Sweet, innocent Remus whom you thought were the spy, a traitor. Your Remus, who you love with all your heart. Moony, who always cared for you.

As the dementors come back and you curl up on the floor as Padfoot, you can't help but think that he won't care now.

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><p>See that button there, click it and tell me if you love it, hate it or want to go to the nearest bathroom stall to vomit (in that case I rather you don't give the details).<p> 


	2. Mirror Sirius X Any one you like

Author: Elliot

A/N: Hello everyone who is taking the time to read my story. Thank you! Hope you like it! Hope you review! Hope you don't flame! Hope you kill one purple dinosaur!

Oh and let me introduce to you my assistant, Avenger. *points to the brooding guy in the chair*

Onwards with the story dear folks!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

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><p>To anyone normal person who looked at him, he'd look his usual haughty confident self. But anyone with a keen eye could spot his way too tense form. His friends though knew that Sirius was no more than a jittery mess of nerves, not that they could blame him, feeling nervous themselves, and was in danger of hyperventilating and sprouting of gibberish nonsense about 'plot bunnies', 'sadistic authors' and 'gay pink hippos'.<p>

And now one may ask what got THE Sirius Orion Black so nervous? Well the answer to that stood a little ways in front of the head table in the form of a well ornamented mirror.

Which brings up the next question as to, what was the mirror and why was it there? The answer to that would be simple.

The mirror was called _Etam L' ous_, and, like a certain other magical mirror we know and love, had the engravings that Sirius was too shaken up to read at that moment in time. In fact he felt like bolting form the Great hall right that instant screaming bloody murder or bloody hippos, due to a certain author who shall go unnamed.

But back to the topic at hand that got the audience so captivated: the mirror, the _bloody_ mirror. And the best way to explain that would be via THE ALMIGHTY AND POWERFUL FLASHBACK, when it was said there was a background effect of lightening striking, causing many of the student population to jump and/or let out a girly scream (and yes, no matter how much he wants to deny it, James Potter let out the most girlish scream) and the headmaster to use his awesome twinkling powers to twinkle the living day lights out of anyone in his vicinity and temporarily blinding them.

But Sirius was too busy being nervous to notice the background effects or the twinkling eye effect causing a certain author and headmaster to pout in disappointment at their attempts being unnoticed by the main character of the story. Oh the woe of life!

With a sigh, the above-mentioned author did a series of complicated gestures and moves (that frankly made her look like a baby seahorse trying to dance on land during summer) and chanted, "Oh ALMIGHTY AND POWERFUL FLASHBACK may your awesomeness and grayness compel all!" causing everyone to see white, before everything turned grey and white in their eyes and the writings turned _Italics_, thus successfully activating THE ALMIGHTY AND POWERFUL FLASHBACK mode.

_It was a normal day at Hogwarts (Well as normal as it could get with a school full of hormonal teens with magic wands and the Giant Squid). The sun was shinning, the birds were singing (i.e. making those goddamn annoying tweeting noises), Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling, Severus Snape was scowling, Sirius Black was staring at the love of his life- …_

_**Avenger**- We apologize for the inconvenience in the above statement, a certain idiotic author just fell of the chair in shock due to idiotic-ness._

_Said author glared at Avenger before muttering things like "evil plot bunnies", "They don't listen to me" and "Good for nothing, stupid assistants"._

_Anyway back to the story, ignoring a certain author who was whining in the background about why they weren't told that the main character of their story was in love and who he was in love with, Sirius Black was staring at the love of his life **(**don't worry the sun did indeed rise in the east today, I checked**)**, Remus Lupin was reading a book, James Potter was stalking Lily Evans. So, all in all it was a normal day…That was until the headmaster stood up in all his purple and glittery glory, calling for everyone's attention._

_Then the headmaster launched into a rather lengthy speech on magical and soul bonds, their importance and blah blah blah, before pointing to a glittery NEON PINK well ornamented mirror a little ways in front of the head table, which appeared out of nowhere…or from under_ _McGonagall's pointy hat __**(**__that's my theory and I'm sticking to it__**)**__._

"_This mirror is called Etam L' ous. The person who stands before the mirror shall not see their reflection but the image of their soul mate. There was a practice long time ago in Hogwarts for students to find their soul mates by viewing the mirror but that tradition had stopped in the passage of time. But I would like for that practice t begin once more. You all will try this wonderful mirror and find your destined mate," Dumbledore declared…_

…_before promptly offering everyone lemon drops._

"Here have a lemon drop," the headmaster offered, holding up the lemon drop.

"Thanks Dumbles," the author said sticking the offered candy in her mouth, before promptly choking on it as she a very gay and vary purple Barny the freaking dinosaur stand before the beep mirror, causing her along with a generous amount of student population to faint…I mean merely lose consciousness and for Dumbledore to channel Santa's spirit and let out a 'ho ho ho', causing the staff to give him a 'wtf' look.

Let's get back to the mirror from where Barny had disappeared (Thank God!) replaced by Lily Evans who was looking green at what she saw at the mirror and promptly fleeing from the Great Hall. She was followed by Frank Longbottom, who was followed by Lucius Malfoy, who was followed by…

"This is taking too bloody long," Avenger said pressing the fast forward button causing everything to go, well fast forward, until it was Sirius' turn to look into the mirror.

Sirius swallowed loudly before making his way towards the mirror, every eye in the great hall were on him, there was a spotlight on him highlighting his every move, he was being showered with glitter and pink rose petals…wait, WHAT!

Sirius turned around and snapped at a certain innocent author, "Would you bloody stop that?"

The, now very much awake, author whined, "But it fit the mood!"

"I'm beep nervous here about the bleeding mirror and who I'll find out and knowing you and your plot bunnies, I don't know what to expect! You ,no good, lousy excuse of an author!" Sirius yelled and marched forward, again ignoring a certain author who was now whining about the injustice of the world before attempting to do salsa with Severus Snape.

Sirius stopped in front of the blasted mirror, took a deep breath, and looked into it…

…

…then gave a James Potter-like girly scream before promptly fainting.

Silence.

"Want a lemon drop?"

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><p>Elliot: The end and they lived happily ever after! ^^<p>

Avenger: Your voice is annoying. Shut up or I'll mute you. *threateningly shows the remote*

Elliot: *gulps* Well bye, guys. Review or Avenger might mute you! *flees*


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